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Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders

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The advantage of these devices is that even if a man has a Houdinilike ability to get free of a standard chastity device, he won’t be able to extricate himself from a tube that’s locked to a piercing; there is simply no way for him to remove it without the key. Some couples will prefer the traditional ‘medieval’ look, feel and opulent statement of a full chastity belt. Then there’s the fact that men still tend to earn more than their female counterparts; that’s likely to make him the main breadwinner, which in turn gives him a lot of influence over how the household income is spent. These periods can be supervised or unsupervised, depending on whether you trust him to behave properly while he’s unlocked.

Holding the Key As the custodian of your man’s chastity, you may well prefer to keep the key on you at all times, perhaps worn about your neck as a pendant or charm. This is essentially a dildo that attaches to the man’s chastity device, to enable a form of love-making that mirrors intercourse while eliminating any risk of a premature finish. whenever you like – taking his hand, fixing his tie, straightening his lapels, or simply touching his back can be a powerful reminder of his condition and your role in it. For the man, male chastity brings some inconvenience, for example personal hygiene may require more time and care.It's a good book as an introduction for people who are asked to be a potential keyholder, as it's not very kinky oriented but mostly informative with a good emphasis on consent and exploring on your terms and pace. Tell him that he’s not getting his turn tonight, that the thought of him trying to get to sleep while still unsatisfied (not to mention utterly frustrated) is a real turn-on for you, that you want to save him for tomorrow morning… Tomorrow morning, make it worth his while again – and this time, think twice before leaving him frustrated (unless you’re very sure it’s the right thing to do). By extension, if he has fixed ideas about what he wants, and if the only way he can be happy is to have those ideas acted out whether you’re into them or not – well, then he might think he’s submissive, but he’s mistaken. The more you tease him and deny him release, the hornier he gets (and the more eager to please you).

Having obliged him so far, you are under no further obligation to cater to his specific kinks – and if you choose to do this anyway, out of your love for him, then you should make it clear (deep down, he wants you to make it clear) that it’s your choice to do so, rather than his. Well, if part of the reason you’re reading this to indulge the fantasies of your submissive man, then you presumably have some questions about the playful, as well as the practical, aspects of male chastity. This book is about male chastity within a long-term relationship between a woman and a man who know and trust one another. Male Chastity is so much more than a way to spice things in the bedroom: it is a path towards a better understanding of men's sexuality and women's needs. Don’t worry too much about that: superficial anxiety can actually be erotic for a man who knows, deep down, that he’s in the hands of a beloved, trusted, loving woman – and the fact that he has offered or permitted himself to locked up by you is evidence of that trust.

The massage must be applied extremely gently, and is not appropriate if the man is suffering from a preexisting prostate condition.

I would have loved to have a bit more feminist theory in there as well, however, it does give some examples of patriarchal dynamics and behaviors and how chastity can serve as a pragmatic feminist tool to rebalance those. Your natural questions might include: ‘Why on earth would he want me to lock his penis up so that he can’t even touch it? Within a heterosexual relationship, the term refers to the case where the man refrains from any kind of sexual gratification unless granted permission by his wife or girlfriend. By becoming your man’s keyholder, you accept his sacrifice and repay him with a unique and extraordinary gift. He can come out to his wife or lover, trusting that she will appreciate his honesty, understand his submissiveness, accept him for who he really is, and perhaps even help him find what he needs.You will certainly experience a profound shift in the power and pleasure dynamic of your sexual relationship. Once locked, police-type handcuffs are not fixed; there’s a catch that, if released, allows the mechanism to ratchet closed. The subject of male chastity might crop up in conversations between you at first (your man might find it particularly interesting, since he’s the one experiencing the intimate sensations and psychological impact of being locked up). One reason might be that men are burdened with many dominant roles (whether as heads of households or heads of corporations) in everyday life. Such activities can be at least partly explained by the fact that a typical adult male has several erections each day, and several more while he sleeps.

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